Whether it’s a separation, a disease, the death of a family member, a divorce, a breakup with a friend, or the failure of a business, the human is facing throughout his life with various losses, which are taken with pain and sadness. When this happens we say that we are faced with a feeling of grief, psychic process that is formed by several phases, which are not far from individual to individual.
A completely mental process
Psychiatry has managed to classify and describe these phases of the feeling of mourning in five major stages, through which the human is changing his vision and feelings about his loss, thus walking an emotional path that goes from the tearing produced by the separation of being loved or the end of the treasured process to the point where the mind accepts and learns to live with the void left by that someone or something that broke out of our lives.
Below we will explain each of these phases described by the sciences of the mind:
Denial phase: This phase is the first reaction an individual presents when he or she receives the news or witnesses the end of a person, a relationship, or a work cycle. As the name implies, the person flatly refuses to believe that his or her family member has died, his job is over, or a relationship is broken. Psychiatrists claim that to some extent this reaction is a psychic defense of the human being, to protect himself from pain, and thus defer a little more the terrible moment of being before reality. However, in the face of the forcefulness of reality, it cannot prolong this stage for long, that is, its permanence lasts only a few hours or days. The “cannot be” gradually gives way to the next stage.
Negotiation phase with reality: once the hardness of reality has crumbled the mechanism of defense of denial, in humans there is a need to resort to the “primitive magic” to try to change the loss situation that passes. This stage almost always occurs when grief is the result of illness or relationship breakdown. The person then needs to establish secret covenants with different deities (god, angels, saints, etc.) in order to exchange favors, offering offerings and good works, in exchange for the restitution of the state or the lost situation.
Depression phase: As the days go by, the person discovers that their situation will not change, that is, their loved one will not return, or will not be rehired in the job he or she had, will not return with his partner or his health will not improve by magic. At that moment, a depressive state of deep sadness arises in the person, where he is allowed to cry and feel thoroughly the tear that results in the loss of being loved or his lost state.
This is a natural stage of the grieving process. However, it is the point where more people get hooked, even for years. Like all depression, after a reasonable time (up to two weeks) of continuing the depressive state, a counselor must turn to a counselor, so that he or she will provide us with tools that help us cope with the feeling of pain. Its duration varies from person to person, so you can’t say for sure how long the person will spend in this state.
Anger phase: According to experts in human behavior, anger is the feeling that can prompt humans out of depression, although some psychiatrists point out that anger is another side of depression, only that it carries an energy and a boost. Within his pain, the person one good day begins to rebel against reality, and changes from the state of suffering to feeling that he has been the victim of an injustice or a mistake.
At this stage questions arise such as why me, why now, and the person, who until that time had taken refuge in the plea to his beliefs to try to change reality or overcome his pain, also rebels against God and the world , feeling that there is an external factor to be found guilty of the situation it is going through. However it can be a terrible phase for both the person and his environment, this stage involves a release and preparation to leave the mourning or mourning.
Acceptance phase: After having passed the stages and once the person has been able to overcome the phase of depression and sadness, as well as having settled with his loved one and himself, comes a phase of acceptance, in which almost always the person tired enough emo He decides to give up his desire for things to return to the way they were before his loss.
In other words, it accepts the new reality in which it is located. Normally, you feel like isolating yourself to be with yourself and rearrange your life from looking forward to the future. Although the pain may continue, people who arrive at this stage can see their loss from the peace of acceptance.
Image source: terapiabreveestrategica.com
August 22, 2019
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