A lot is said about forgiveness. Forgiveness is sought, forgiveness is granted, but is it really forgiven? And to what extent should it be forgiven? Can the law of forgiveness really disrupt the chain of pain?
It’s a very big credit
If you get slapped, by law you have the right to return it. But when this happens the other person is not going to say, “Brother, we’re already passing through, let’s give each other a hug.” On the contrary, he’ll want to give you a stronger one. And so you will start a war in your life, and the time will come when you will want to kill yourselves… it’s like a snowball: as it rolls the most.
So what is the law of forgiveness? If you get slapped, FORGET, DO NOT RETURN IT. This will make it impossible for the other person to have the right to raise their hands against you again. This cuts that absurd chain of pain (but in order to forgive you will have to die intensely on a psychological level, because it is not just about saying: I forgive you).
But look at it more, why did you get slapped? There must be a cause. Don’t look for responsibility anywhere else, don’t look for evasiveness. It is you, and no one but you, is responsible for your joy or your misery.
It is so difficult to arrive at the absolute certainty that we are the only culprits of what happens to us, but when we reach that absolute certainty, our lives become easier and we no longer seek culprits outside. Osho, one of the deepest thinkers of the last century, said it:
If you suffer it’s because of you,
if you feel happy for you,
if you feel happy it’s because of you.
No one else is responsible for how you feel,
just you and no one but you.
You are heaven and hell too.
If anyone slaps me, it must be for something. Really because I’ve allowed it or looked for it, because it’s unlikely that anyone will slap me like that because yes, without cause (unless I have any mental problem).
If I don’t return that slap, the situation must end there. But what if that person wants to give me another slap? Here we must apply to the popular adage that says “meek, but not mesos”. Although most of the time this adage is used to justify some plan of revenge and revenge.
If a person with any mental health problems slap me, I’ll have to forgive him on the very basis. But what if i get another slap? Whose fault is it? Him or mine? The answer is that it is my fault, for allowing it, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN STUPID and having realized the situation I did not take the necessary actions to prevent it from being re-presented.
However, that law of forgiveness has a limit. THE SAME VIRTUE HAS A LIMIT because if a person comes to rape my wife and my daughter it would be stupid to give him blessings by saying “follow brother, God bless you”. In this case I MUST MAKE ME KILL IF IT IS ACCURATE FOR DEFENDING MY FAMILY. That’s the right thing to do. There’s no margin for forgiveness here. And we must learn to defend ourselves as much as possible, without hurting, without harming anything or anyone (although it will not always be possible).
In the face of two inevitable evils, we must always choose the one that the least wrong generates.
June 21, 2019